Draft Dodger Rag Phil Ochs Written by Phil Ochs Oh, I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town I believe in God and Senator Dodd and a-keepin' old Castro down And when it came my time to serve I knew "better dead than red" But when I got to my old draft board, buddy, this is what I said: CHORUS Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen And I always carry a purse I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school And I'm working in a DEE-fense plant I've got a dislocated disc and a wracked up back I'm allergic to flowers and bugs And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes I can hardly reach my knees And if the enemy came close to me I'd probably start to sneeze I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen And I always carry a purse I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school And I'm working in a DEE-fense plant Ooh, I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies, Onething you gotta see That someone's gotta go over there And that someone isn't me So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em Hell! Kill me a thousand or so And if you ever get a war without blood and gore I'll be the first to go Yes, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen And I always carry a purse I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school And I'm working in a DEE-fense plant