Subject: Vic Chesnutt - Salesman And Bernadette Date: Thu, 4 Nov 1999 13:57:18 +0100 From: "Gunnar Hedlund" To: Thanks Gunnar! @ARTIST: Chesnutt, Vic @ALBUM: Salesman And Bernadette @SONG: Arthur Murray she's so musical look at her dance in a flurry who get's to lead do know it's not Arthur Murray emasculate me with your biology bend me, break me, I'm worthless one wicked brand from your torturous hand you laugh when I'm tell you, you're gorgeous she has an answer for everything she's so smart in the raw and well educated that's a double fisted draw cotton breathes between her cheeks spin me, weave me, I'm willing one finger prick, I know I'll take sick she'll chalk up a killing she's so fashionable she's a nazi when she's shopping but wholly democratic you should see who she's been bopping emasculate me with your biology break me, bend me, I'm worthless one wicked brand from your torturous hand you laugh when I'm tell you, you're gorgeous @SONG: Bernadette I was shivering, I'll admit it I had nothing better to do except to wheeze my lazy wheeze "Bernadette, where are you" "Bernadette, where are you" she gets much acclamation for such a self ordained Faustian Bernadette doesn't like doubters she wants to fight in the Coliseum what can you tell me of Therese and Isabelle was it just fate that brought them together or did they will their unusual union in cahoot of love or all of the above in cahoot of love or all of the above in cahoot of love or all of the above I was sputtering but I got over it after hours of tireless rewiev under the gracious and analytical hands "Bernadette I honor you" "Bernadette I honor you" "Bernadette I owe you some" @SONG: Blanket Over The Head we will remain ignorant incapable of knowing insoluble is the problem curiosity, sleeping killed the caterpillar curiosity, empty is a blanket over the head @SONG: Duty Free no chocolate in the duty free shop two drops of scotch gonna end up on his crotch, tonight all alone, sitting on the throne some native tounge on the TV blaring like an old Peavey he don't aim to be rude he's fighting with his inner prude some pommes frites and you know it's gonna drip on to his lap yes, see the man slapping it off travellin' will do him in trudging through the waves of people 'till his heart is cluttered and feeble if you take him out of this loop he may be very easily duped still he beats the stampede for the duty free he's using up all that old currency he's using up all that old currency he's using up all that old currency @SONG: Maiden dogs are barking, birds are chirping the only thing better if I was squirting but there's no one here to love on me today for the maiden's on holiday for the maiden's on holiday I'm a sorry, sorry knight in a horrible castle hoping to avoid certain societal hassles and I know what they say but I ain't made of clay for the maiden's on holiday yeah, the maiden's on holiday I ain't nothing but chivalrous ain't never been nothing nasty between us she knows where she stands on the heart of a broken man I'm gonna be bad no matter what so I might as well go on ahead and act like a butt any ol' way, yeah, I'm still gonna pay for the maiden's on holiday yeah, the maiden's on holiday @SONG: Mysterious Tunnel I just never could say, "good bye" or "adieu" ooh, but the years, they have been so kind to you there's some skills that I have learned to do and I would certainly like to share them with you you're outside hanging wet linen and I am giving a Van Dyke listening if you need a little help stretching the canvas if you need a shaky ride to Lawrence, Kansas if you need a little help hauling that big, fat sack I'll be sitting right here beside my stone age fax machine you're up there amongst the mountains and I am drinking from a nasty water fountain I just never could lay a bead on you I took a sad envelope of seed from you I just never could get something to take root one just never can tell about the growth shoot I am crouched with a weak shovel and you are tending the mysterious tunnel @SONG: Old Hotel I can see my old hotel down amongst the smells I'm up above that ancient city river it's filtered by my lousy liver it's filtered by my wilted lily liver I can see my old hotel it ain't even a hotel 5am there came some sleet or hail it was signal taps on the brave window solemn taps on the wavy window I can see my old holtel hear those old touristy bells soon I'll be down the hill shopping giddy like a tipsy Mary Poppins giddy like a tipsy Mary Poppins I can see my old hotel it ain't even a hotel I'm scheduled to ride the rails if I wished to stay on this tower things would derange given just another hour ... @SONG: Parade where did you go after the parade I wandered, searching for about an hour then I parked it on a bench shifting and sulking those pesky little mosquitoes they nearly, nearly, nearly, nearly drained me then a man dripping with vitalis said I looked like Joe Namath he asked me did I used to be famous and I said "neighbor, I'm famously late" and I said "neighbor, I'm famously late" where did you go after the parade you never even appeared to enjoy it I came out of it with a slight experience drinking and howling at the natives you're a great at disappering you left me with an ear ache I spit into the swan lake saying "what a hideous rewiev" saying, "what a hideous rewiev" weather, barometric pressaure push me to the ground my stomach is growling I always heard this was such a festive town but everybody over ten years old is frowning everybody over ten years old is frowning where did you go after the parade I didn't expecting you to be bolting away remember the time you took me to see Harold and Maude 'cause I didn't know the meaning of the word catharsis we are busy weaklings poking around for reasons we are happy little heathens it's just time we both admit it it's time we both admit it @SONG: Prick I was shaking with laugther scared the bratty children did I destroy the ambience I'm sure for that hoity-toity patron it wasn't pretty when I looked into the face oops, into the eyes, ruptured icy chaos what's the, what's the, who's the prick we was hidden in the potted plants I know and we was no obnoxious but I could see, there in the sun room the growing storm of disapproval it wasn't pretty when I looked into the face oops, into the eyes, ruptured icy chaos what's the, what's the, who's the prick I ain't supposed to laugh can't let your children see that I ain't supposed to wonder what's the, who's the prick what's the, who's the prick what's the, who's the prick what's the, what's the, who's the prick @SONG: Replenished sitting in the breakfast nook flipping through a saucy book browsing for a bit of titillation (that's what you do, that's what you do) morning is warming on your mouth last days of direct sunlight for this part of the house move into the great room get the clean corn broom sweaping up a sad old pillar of salt (that's what you do, that's what you do) you're feeling glummer as summer dies off something was released with autumn's first cough matter seem's immaculate until it's consumed or distressed see her with her kitchen soap cleaning up the breakfast she knows it's never finished 'till the other's replenished it's never finished 'till the other's replenished propped up on the mantel piece throphies stuffed in a life that flies a couple of seconds can be a long time if'n it's froze, if'n it's froze matter seem's immaculate until it's consumed or distressed see her with her kitchen soap cleaning up the breakfast she knows it's never finished 'till the other's replenished it's never finished 'till the other's replenished @SONG: Scratch, Scratch, Scratch scratch, scratch, scratch goes the cat on the carpet she stepped in the blue water bowl twitch, twitch, twitch goes my eyelid my tounge in a cavity hole I lost my passport one hairy night I think they found it in the bald-bulb light now I wait calmly in the holiday cold my love is lent out, tucked in a skinfold my love is lent out, tucked in a skinfold there goes my baby not really in the middle of the murder surely left of center of the swirl I bolster my conviction as a character reference with a sweetie-neatie drop of pearl the crowd at the courthouse passed around the flu blew through steamy faces still in shock in the parking lot freezing, doing sunday suit paces then we were dismissed and I drove alone to a friend's then we were dismissed and I drove alone to a friend's @SONG: Square Room sitting in a square room my voice is freezing and the beams that are bouncing off the moon are hanging from my window like icicles just a tired old alcoholic, waxing bucolic shivering and homesick staring at a wooden floor staring at a wooden floor last night I nearly killed myself chasing rum with rum there were crows flying all around my head and I sure caught and ate me some it's funny how I alienated those who I was trying just so so hard to impress now half those fuckers hate me and I'm just a fool to all the rest why do I insist on drinking myself to the grave why do I dream about cozy coffin I had all these plans of great things to accomplish but I end up purely pathetic more than often @SONG: Until The Led knowing what I know now I should've had a cow I didn't realize you were to be despised I must have been one of history's stupidest men 'cause everything was perfect in my head until the lead started hitting me with benefit of hindsight I can see your ass wasn't right maybe I'm mighty dull but you're pathological I never guessed you meant no, when you said yes everything was perfect in my head until the lead started hitting me it didn't take long at all until the zen started to to fall all of the people you faked suddenly saw their mistake you never thought that I could survive the shock everything was perfect in my head until the lead started hitting me @SONG: Woodrow Wilson she said her father looked like Woodrow Wilson she said her father looked like Woodrow Wilson presiding from behind prescription lenses she said her father looked like Woodrow Wilson she said her mother act like a first lady she said her mother act like a first lady she'd been having those problems lately she said she's going to the clinic on Wednesday she said her brother wished he was a negro she said her brother wished he was a negro went to school in african-american studies once he had a picture taken with Adam Clayton Powell she said her father looked like Woodrow Wilson she said her father looked like Woodrow Wilson I saw him once and thought he looked just a little bit like Truman I know for a fact he has an Eisenhower ashtray