The Cultivators

"Mama's Kitchen"
 All Alone

 I am all alone, in my head, no one's there with me, nothing is said,

 That I don't hear first for too long, and if you check for  signals,

 they might be gone

 I am all alone, in my mind, no one hears my thoughts, which is probably best,

 An endless spiral tryin' to find its way home, tryin' to rest

 on a roadside stone-

 No I, can't stop the churnin', no I can't stop the turning 'round,

 No I, can't shake the darkness, following me around...

 I am all alone, all by myself, don't like to sound alarms,

 or call out for help,

 But on a clear cold night, you can get star-crossed, map in

 hand you can still get lost,

 No I, can't see the future, No I, can't ditch the past,

 Could your, first impression, be my last?

 I am all alone, even with you, And we are not so different,

 it's just that we are two,

 Side by side, you can miss that mark, bright as day,

 it can be pitch dark...

 I am all alone

 Wrong Side

 I got lost in the big world, turned my back on my good girl,

 then I strayed from the high tide, and ended up on the wrong side,

 I had the plans when I started out, but I bowed down to doubt,

 I turned a blind eye to the tears you cried, and ended up on the  wrong side,

 I got stuck inside my big head, couldn't see it go from yellow to red,

 then I gone and done a slow slide, and at the end was a down glide,

 I never wanted to hurt no one, but I never missed a chance to run,

 Now it's gonna be a long ride, to get back from the wrong side,

 I coulda changed my direction, brought down by my own reflection,

 It coulda been a chance to learn, it seemed easy just to return,

 I never wanted to give in, to mock anyone's hopeful grin,

 But now I guess I joined the bad guys, and got a mean look in my eyes,

 I never wanted to shake my head, 'bout the lives that others led,

 But I let my heart get full of pride, and got swayed to the wrong side,

 I never changed nobody's heart, never sorted it all apart,

 It was only hit and miss, with a just a dose of bitterness,

 I can't remember when I last knew, someone who could smile like you,

 But the sun musta burned my eyes, for me never to realize,

 I got lost in the big noise, acting like I had no choice,

 But now it seems I got nowhere to hide, no getting back from the

 wrong side-

 Never Stopped to Run

 I never stopped to run, I never stopped to run, I never stopped

 to notice, I let it all go down, got buried in the ground, and

 so far out of focus,

 I was seduced by things as empty as a shell, If you were reading

 my lips, I could never tell,

 I know you told me once, but I forgot the gist, got weighted down

 with details, I tried to play you songs, you couldn't sing along,

 And somewhere we got derailed, I can't remember what I still had

 left to say, I still was talking when you turned and walked away...

 Remember when you fell, the first time was it hell, or did it make

 you feel alive?  You stayed in bed for weeks, thought you were so

 unique, and everyone had blind eyes,

 You thought you got it, but you didn't get a thing, you thought

 you hit it, but you didn't even swing-

 Circling, still circling, on the outside, of where you are,

 Waiting, still waiting, for that elusive, lucky star...

 I never stopped to run, I never stopped to run, I never stopped

 to notice, I'm sure I was awake, so how'd I let the fake, take

 over for the bogus?  I tried to play along my heart not in the

 game, I was deceived but I got no one left to blame...




 Happy Again

 I guess it seems like something's haunting us, by now we're used to

 this kind of pain, Kind of wish we could just pull it together,

 Maybe then we could be happy again,

 Try harder slip back into the years, repeat the same mistakes fail the

 same friends, was never easy wasn't peaceful bliss, nothing harder than

 being happy again,

 But I know we'll find a way to smile, no map to guide no godsend, come


 now baby it's just another mile, there's something beckoning around the


 You were born under a shimmering star, it's still shining but you've lost your way,

 your own mama don't know where you are, your own daddy don't know what to say,

 You wanna be with your family, but they ain't givin' you the time of day,

 How many times you gonna climb this tree, how many nights you gonna cry away?

 Your eyes are fair and sad, your dreams are young and strong, it could


 end tomorrow, it could be very long,

 Try not to understand, try not to figure out, Somehow I'll always love


 some things I'll never doubt,

 I guess it feels like something's haunting us, We're gonna have to

 let it pass us by, Or it will only come around again, poke at your heart

 until it makes you cry, When you decided just to play the game, nobody

 said that you were going to win, the more you change the more things


 the same, maybe someday you will be happy again...




 Scrambling Scheme

 Never thought I could walk, had to crawl to get by,

 When I saw someone runnin', really opened my eyes,

 I got stuck on a lot of shit, that never let me be,

 I got by without looking, so frustratedly,

 So it goes when you're tagging along, a car that's moving,

 Dog keeps chasing, Catchin' up just to eat some dust, you're

 only lonely, caught up in your scrambling scheme,

 You used to light up a room, Now you just fire up a pipe,

 You stayed away every Monday so long, you can't go back

 on a Saturday night, You're a prisoner of fear, out on OK

 behavior, Try so hard to be upright and strong you forget

 to love your neighbor,

 So it goes when your riding alongside, a bullet train, the

 racing game, Fighting only over pride it would seem, you're

 only lonely, caught up in your scrambling scheme,

 Forgotten humility, Swallowed up by vanity...

 Something stuck in my head, that a friend once said,

 You can spin your wheels, if that feels real, and she's

 been waiting for someone, to hear a word she's saying, but

 that ain't you my friend you're too caught up in games that you're


 So it goes when you're tagging along, a lifeboat sinking, ship

 keeps drifting,

 Tossed around by the wake of your dreams, you're only lonely,

 Caught up in your scrambling scheme...





 Mama's Kitchen

 Standing in your mama's kitchen, I'll be a fool for you,

 I'll go to sleep early you and her can talk til two,

 And I'll listen until sleep or rain drowns me out,

 Standing in your mama's kitchen, I got no fear or doubt,

 Sittin' on your mama's couch, I think I'm getting older or,

 Drivin' around your hometown kind of makes me want you more,

 Knowing you were a kid once, little boyfriends and trips to a zoo,

 Standing in your mama's hallway, I worry 'bout losing you,

 You can be anything you want, you can be a princess bride,

 You can break down and release your pain you can cradle it all inside,

 And I can sit in the car for a while switching stations on the radio,

 And if we're both feeling incomplete we are always free to go...

 Standing in your mama's kitchen, reading refrigerator quotes,

 Too much like magnets, not enough like post-it notes,

 Hope that I don't slip up, or get my signals crossed,

 But standing in your mama's kitchen, I get a little lost,

 You can question sincerity you can insulate yourself,

 But sooner or later you're bound to see it goes on without your help,

 You can wish your way back in time but the clocks will never move,

 And you can stash away all that love but it won't make you


 Standing in your mama's driveway, making short good-byes,

 We gotta get through Kansas, before the sun gets high,

 No I'm not your first love, maybe not even a dream come true,

 But standing in your mama's kitchen, I couldn't take my eyes off you...





 Graduation Day

 We inherited your parents' sofa, when we dared to have your

 parents over, they complained, 'bout the stains, left there

 by my coffee cup and-

 Twenty-five you're back in the nest, guess maybe you needed a

 rest from all the games, and all the names you had to memorize-

 Now you weren't only back for religion and a snack, more than that

 was lost or led astray, and in the instant lilacs bloom,

 you take one last look around your old room, and it feels just

 like graduation day...

 I was looking through your dad's old yearbook, sideburns and horn-rimmed

 glasses, bouffant hair, they didn't wear it for irony,

 Being cool wasn't premeditated, now the pages seem so dated, yet it's

 strange, nothing's different drastically,

 But still nothing seems the same, it's all been a losing game,

 And all the blacks and whites have blurred to gray,

 And your memories turn to rust, like the cooling off at dusk,

 And it feels just like graduation day,

 On the last day of your sixth grade year, school was empty so

 you rode your bike up and down the halls, it felt so small already,

 Junior high you threw your books in the gym, on the buses all your

 friends were screaming, wave goodbye, time for summer camps and

 keggers soon...

 So now you must progress, we all wish you great success, hope

 you listen well to what we say, and the moving truck is gone,

 the radio plays summer songs, and it feels just like graduation day...


 Shadows always got me, pass me on the street,

 Stick around like someone's calling my name,

 Some will hope to find me, and some will end up dyin',

 Cause that's how shadows play...

 This place you're in is haunted, seems no place to be,

 And there's no way out of danger,

 Will you tread water in that dark, dark sea,

 Or sink down strapped to the anchor?

 I will hide, in the dark, ready set, on your mark,

 And I'm not scared, anymore, I know what shadows are for...

 Shadows always got me, hold me hypnotized,

 Feel the sweet comfort of nothing,

 Shadows help to block out, the cobwebs in my mind,

 Forgive me if I seem to need something,

 I am gone with, the word go,

 Darkness seems to, be all I know,

 Yeah I doubt, it makes me strong,

 But it keeps me moving along...

 Shadows always got me, ease my troubled heart,

 A silent friend to confide with,

 It's peaceful, lonely, a respite in the dark,

 No one you got to side with-

 Behind the Curtain

 Tryin' to get my wits about me, tryin' to make sense,

 Gonna be less insecure, stop playin' defense,

 Maybe I left behind, those old abandoned houses,

 Hopefully I scared off, their frightened little mouses,

 Now I don't doubt at all, that you were really hurting,

 But why'd you go and trade it all, for what's behind the curtain?

 What did you want from me, that I could not deliver?

 What made you steal from me, and sell me down the river?

 Here I can start feelin' alright, here I feel better,

 Wish I could have told you 'bout it, in the last letter,

 No I don't doubt at all, you felt a heavy burden,

 But why'd you go and, trade it all, for what's behind the curtain?

 Every little while now, I get a good feeling,

 Kind of like amputation, kind of like healing,

 Yes there was a little light, that we had given it,

 Wherever you are tonight, I hope you've forgiven it,

 No I don't, blame you baby, for never being certain,

 But why'd you go and, trade it all, for what's behind the curtain?





 Word on the Street (Tom Sampson)

Guess I still hold a grudge, I used to be the one to never give or budge,

Now I hear you're comin' back, and I could cut you little slack,

I remember ups and downs, we stuck together, through the smiles

and the frowns, I can't believe you stabbed me in the back, maybe you just felt trapped,

The word on the street, the word on the street, the word on the street, is you're  comin' back

No one's immune to change, but what I know about you, it sure seems strange,

Now I hear you're homeward bound, back to your stomping grounds,

I haven't lost my will, you know I'm still willing, to feel the chill, but I don't feel the same way as I did yesterday


They say you had a change of heart, you're back to make a brand new

start, you say there's nothing up your sleeve, I guess we'll have to

wait and see, they say you had a change of heart, you left us all in the

dark, I don't know what you're all about, I never could figure you out,

I keep my ear to the ground, I always seem to hear that old familiar

sound, You know you been away so long, there's not as much going on,

Things will never be the same, for different reasons, things will

rearrange, guess I'll give it one more chance, chalk one up to


(chorus) (repeat chorus)

 Miles Apart

 Sometimes it seems like we are miles apart, no place to finish and

 no place to start, I wanna get right to your precious heart, but I can't

 so we just stay miles apart,

 Sometimes I swear we're hearing different things, you say it's plastic I

 see diamond rings,

 I'd do anything for harmony, do I make it that hard for you to be with


 Do anything you want to, I'm gonna endure, I'm pretty damn sure,

 Do anything you desire, I'll stand in the waves, I'll walk through the


 Sometimes it seems like there is no more room, for another short-sighted


 bride and groom, I'd chalk it all up to an ancient curse, but I swear

 sometimes I think it could be something worse,

 Do anything I won't care, you can't run me off, or ruffle my hair,

 Do anything you want to, I'm gonna love you, no matter what you do...

 Sometimes it seems like you are miles away, I don't listed you can't

 hear what I say, I try to tell you you won't be ignored I wanna reach

 you but I just seem to come up short,

 Do anything I'll hang on, I'll talk to myself, I don't know what's  wrong,

 Do anything to distract, I might storm off, but I will crawl back,

 Sometimes it seems like we are miles apart, no place to finish and

 no place to start, I wanna get right to your precious heart-

 Stranger Things

 Tomorrow's the day, I come home to stay, sadder winds have

 blown, but now I think I'll find my way,

 Frozen in time, the bell's still chime, to mark the dawn,

 When I woke to find you gone,

 And I must make this journey, so I come back again,

 Stranger things have happened maybe, but I don't know when...

 I once thought, the world could be bought, but the higher

 I climbed, nothing was mine, and so I let go, of people I

 know, take my foot off the brakes, there's no mistakes, just learning...


 So when you find me, you'll know I was never alone, and I went

 where the warm winds took me, I steered a course away from that storm,

 So tomorrow's the day, you're leaving to stay, you've gone

 full circle now, but you still keep chasing your tail around