If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing (Joe Ely / Kimmie Rhodes / Gabe Rhodes) O weary me I'm broke as a man can be My bills are all due, I got holes in my shoe Bill collectors, they won't let me sleep If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing I could make cash registers ring What a sight to behold her, she could sit on my shoulder And whimper in harmony If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing What a wonderful world it would be I could take her to the border and teach her how to order Margaritas and Fajitas Senoritas would bring The circus is coming to town The telephone lines are down While the tight rope they're stretchin', my puppy is fetchin', The tin cans all scattered around... If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing The whole would live in peace Instead of them fightin', everyone would be writin' Love letters to Senators and Police If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing What brave new world it would be I could take her to China, on a big Jet Airliner And Bark in the Park 'till the Freedom Bells Ring If I Could Teach My Chihuahua To Sing There'd be no more sorrow and grief I could take her to the border and teach her how to order Guacamole and Posole, and feel Holy and Free!