GOD'S LAST NAME ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Well I was laying it down in Seattle Town, Out in front of the Starbuck's Bar. I had a crowd of three just listening to me And my old Larrivée guitar. Well I was working my case and working the crowd, Even working all the passing cars; When this guy walks by with the "Good Book" in his hand. Now the fella wasn't dressed in Skid Road best Or collecting alms for the poor. He had this slick eatin' grin and he moved right in Like we musta been friends for sure. Then he gave me a wink, gave me a nod, Even gave me some illiterature, And in front of my paying public he proclaimed... "'DAMN'," he said to the Pike Place patrons, "Isn't God's last name. 'DAMN'," he confided to the coffee consumers "Is takin' the Lord's name in vain; And if you keep up with your blasphemy, You'll be suffering hell-fire pain. Because 'DAMN' never was nor will be God's last name." It was plain to see this challenge to me Was a challenge that I'd have to top. He'd brought my show to a grinding slow, And it was headed toward a grinding stop. He was handing out leaflets, handing out slogans, And setting up his "damn God" shop... I said, "You told me what it ain't, But I can tell you what it actually is... "Now the first thing, 'Slick', I don't need your shtick, I was doing just fine without you. With that much said, I don't mean to be red, But you need to mind a manner or two. You see the first of June is coming soon And the landlord's rent is due. The only lord out there I need to beware is who?" He was taken aback, stopped dead in his tracks, Like he was about to faint. Any minute this clown might be telling the town What mother's last name ain't. So I leveled on him a most devilish grin And with the patience of a Saint, I recited verbatim the Gospel according to Jim... "Now the very first cave man was a fellow named, 'A Dam', I read it in Genesis 2. And the father of 'A' was God they say, If the King James Version is true. And if the son's last name and the Father's the same... Help me follow this lineage through, Well it's 'Dam' if you don't, and it looks like it's 'Dam' if you do! "The name remained 'Dam' throughout the promised land 'Til it came to the USA. Then 'Dam' became 'Damm,' which rhymes with mom, Or so the wise men say. You can ask your priest, you can ask your pope, You may even ask your Lord someday; But you oughta get it straight before you preach the street again." "'Damm'," I said to the Preacher Mann, "Is actually God's last name. 'Damm'," I shared with the latté lovers, "Ain't takin' the Lord's name in vain. You may damm me if you care to And I'll thank you just the same, Because 'Damm' always was and always will be...God's last name." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © 1995 Jim Hinde folkbone@mindspring.com