I put out a small 4 song demo prior to this CD and got some positive response, so I decided to really go for it with a local producer who's worked with Guns N Roses, Lonely H and Alien Crime Syndicate. I have to say that the album I'm working on now is much more diverse in its subject matter! It's pretty obvious that the theme of "Outside In" is for the most part, losing love and trying to "figure the other person out"... I feel that I am in such a different place now and have let so much of that compulsion go - there really is no figuring another person out and even if we could, it changes nothing about their path.
"Walk Away" is a song I wrote several years ago about the need to let go of a person I loved very much who, while they said they couldn't be with me anymore, kept hanging around... It was painful and confusing and the line "My walking contradiction....my favorite addiction..." says it all....
The song "Drop The Other Shoe" is equally about being with someone who is never quite sure they want to 'be there' so, I was always literally 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' - and I was waiting for a bus in Portland once and heard this girl next to me talking about the very same issue with her boyfriend - clearly a universal experience!
The title track, "Outside In" is about when I went to Joshua Tree National Park in California with a friend and spent the day in Hollywood waiting for her to fly in. I drove around with the windows down playing my demo as loud as possible just to see if anyone would pay attention! Ridiculous but fun... the rental car had a GREAT sound system but no producers stopped me on the Sunset Strip! The song is about what I experienced in the year before and -how I'd grown and realized it's all an inside job- how you feel about yourself affects every faction of your life- It CAN'T be "Outside in... trading skin...." "....Been looking all my life for what makes me better, stronger, more loved.... but, I'm enough..."
"I'm Not Looking For Anything But You" is about how much I loved someone who broke my heart, who couldn't seem to let themselves let me in, so, left. It's about how I didn't want a big analysis of the relationship or issues, didn't want anything else....
"Right Where You Left It" is about how easy it is to leave a relationship without thinking what it is you are truly giving up. Again, the theme of emotional unavailibility is running through here! But, I love the simplicity and feel of this one - it's a struggle we all have with intimacy: we run from scary feelings and then look back and want it again.
"Your Truth" is about my experiences with addiction and youth. It's also about how our culture has made it increasingly not-okay to be sad, feel your feelings and be where you are. Shows that are aimed at youth like ''The OC" and "One Tree Hill" make it seem like you better figure your problems out in 1/2 an hour - and if you don't, there's always drugs, alcohol and drama-filled relationships. My take is that the only true way OUT is THROUGH your feelings -Your truth serves you much better in the long run.
"Never You" is about a relationship I was in where I felt I was doing all the work emotionally, and it never occured to the other person what the problem was because they were that closed off to their own emotions.
I hope to have my next CD done by Summer and am working with a new drummer so I am excited about the outcome. I'd like to tour in Europe this Summer as well but will have to see about what unfolds in the next few months. Thanks for checking my tunes out! SQ